Avant Garde -n of Pain!

Have you ever felt pain? Excruciating, debilitating, havoc wreaking pain? I have. Unfortunately, a lot many times… Ever since childhood, I have had a relationship with pain, hopelessness and grief. The relationship is complicated and we’ve ignored each other, loved each other, broken up and then patched up each time a new thing brings me down.

Carnival of Rust – Poets of the Fall

You see I feel pain is a compound interest we keep gathering in our toxic relationship with our mental health. So, each time the positive army necessary for defence is weaker than the accumulated interest of the pain. Each time, it is a little more difficult than the last time to muster courage to fight. First it’s your confidence, then it is your trust and at last it’s your feeling of security that is ripped off to pay this amassing debt.

Pain is a double cyclone much like the ones hitting the Indian coast time to time. It’s a catapult made of the two prongs of lack of support and let downs. Each time a person who’s been hurt gets up, they try to fight stronger and yet without knowing they are pulling the elastic backwards only to be catapulted deeper into an abysmal darkness. Each time trusting gets harder, each mistake then bring greater havoc, each fire burning the house down slowly from the inside.

Did you know? Double cyclones are a common thing apparently? Read more : wikiwand.

Knowing me, you know, the solution is coming shortly in this write up. Something positive will shine through. And knowing you, I know you will think ” Such a lucky girl! She must have everything!” Knowing the world, it’ll try to take back ‘something or anything’. But the hard truth is, I’m just a girl, standing in front of the mirror and writing my thoughts down. Each time sharing with the world’s sensitive few, what I wish someone had said to me!

Have the courage to kick pain out with a dream and hope much like this beautiful kid from Kashmir!

Acknowledge your pain, look it in the eye and say ” Boo! I got you!” Dream a little Dream! Whatever it is that is yours. Could be a makeover, could be a takeover, could be a do-over or simply a ‘game over’! I hope you Dream! Deviate a little and go back to work in pieces on whatever ailed you. Formulate a strategy to not go back into the things leading you back into the same black hole and yet be assured other upheavals shall come. However, you’ll be much better equipped to handle them!

Poor sad girl? No way! I may have been fighting, battling and going to war but I was born a Warrior. I was born to do more than be trodden by pain. So, here I am, clarifying that those who stand alone are still an army of hope, dream and courage. For Hope is the light in the darkest place. The light that shapes dreams. A dream combined with opportunity and effort is, however, a knock out punch to pain!

I always dreamt of having my own home. Trust me, having it makes me whole. Dreams + Opportunity + Effort! #Grateful

My heart pains even now even when I have comfort but now there’s always warmth of an embrace there to pull me out. An embrace of confidence of achieving my dreams through effort aimed towards an opportunity. I have also learnt to seek help from those around me, those genuine souls who are kind enough to help. I’d advise strongly you do the same. It’s my ambition, with God’s grace, to take more people to the shores of happiness. It helps me. I have learnt a lot from pain and it continues to strengthen me against itself. I hope it does the same to you! I’ll be here writing with the hope to be a beacon when you are lost!

My “Croodle” – A crayon doodle helps me out sometimes! Try it! This one’s called ‘Beacon of Light!’

Keep growing and glowing.

Stay Safe and Find the Courage to Dream so you can have Hope!

Sincerely,

Shraddha Sharma aka Sherry ✨

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